HJ OS

Me and my friends watched all 5 twilight movies last night, since they had never seen them. Honestly i was just impressed they managed to go so long without seeing them. I didnt even want to watch them back in the day and ended up seeing them more than once.

Anyways, it was fun! It's always a treat to heckle bad movies with friends. It's crazy how frustrating those movies are, though. Everyone makes weird decisions and never communicates, and they chose weird parts of the vampire/werewolf myths to include and exclude. The vampires got to keep mind control and other weird powers, but sunlight doesn't hurt and they show up in mirrors? And being a vampire is contagious but being a werewolf isn't? Wtf.

Bella's also a total mary sue but incredibly thats like, the least bad part of it. Still enjoyed the experience though, "you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster?!" never fails to fuckin kill me. that and edward literally gagging at bella the first time he sees her lmao

The marathon did put me in a vampire mood though. Maybe I'll hunt down a very legal way to watch some buffy, or maybe Underworld since both my friends asked what would happen if a vampire bit a werewolf.

in conclusion, team edward.

Im bored at the apt and since i have 3 days of spring break left, I decided to start work on developing a game concept ive been kicking around for a while. Without getting bogged down in the details, it's a point and click RPG, heavily focused on story and some puzzles. I've barely scratched the surface of just trying to set up the project and this is already a pain.

Visual and audio assets aren't important this early on, but i did open aesprite and make some quick place holders. I dont ever really do pixel art, but i want the classic MS DOS look for this. That part went relatively well, except i havent figured out how to scale anything in unity properly. I've also gotten the movement down (mostly, theres still some quirks but that can be refined much later).

now, getting literally anything else to work? that's been a trainwreck. Just trying to make objects trigger dialogue when clicked has got me knee deep in stackoverflow forums and youtube tutorials. All of which, of course, are incredibly context specific, and therefore basically useless in terms of making an interaction system.

And the dialogue system is apparently going to be the worst part of this. The one i saw most recommended for unity was called "fungus" but it apparently is no longer being supported so thats out. I investigated "ink", since it has it's own script editor, but im not sure how complex i could actually get it working. I intend for player stats to effect dialogue choices, a la fallout or any other mainstream RPGs. Im afraid that thread is going to end in me having to make a system from scratch.

So, ive got a mountain of issues and thats not even considering UI and HUDs, puzzles, inventory...

Unity might've been too ambitious for this. i have a copy of RPG maker MV but the visuals arent very customizable, not to mention it's restricted to a top-down view.

Im gonna step back and regroup, do some research where im not actively scripting at the same time.

My local renaissance fair starts in like two weeks! Im super excited and i plan on dragging some friends with me this year. Unfortunately ill be flat fuckin broke aside from money for tickets, but that means i cant waste it in a bunch of random shit ig.

I cant do it this year, but some year id like to actually dress up properly for the ren fair. Like, get a real scabbard, a nice (non-rusted) sword, period accurate clothes. When i was younger I always wanted to be a knight. Id spend forever at the blacksmith and armory stores with my dad but never bought/was given any since none of it would have fit.

Next year, no blue jeans, maybe the year after some armor pieces? I could probably get a hold of some leather stuff cheaper, and it wouldn't be as hot as plate lmao. I watched LOTR again a few days ago and it would be sick to have Boromir's vambrace with the gondor crest on it. I wonder if i could just make that...

Holy shit so much (for) stardust is so good. This is the best fall out boy has been in years, and I loved save rock and roll, AB/AP, and mania. Listening to this felt like coming home.

I can't pick a favorite track so I'm picking three, in no particular order:

Fake Out

Flu Game

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years)

The entire time I was listening to the album i just kept thinking "I dont want this to end". The title and ending track felt even more bitter sweet because god damn it's so good but I was dreading getting to it because then it would be over.

I'll have more in depth and coherent thoughts about this later, but just know both my chemical and metaphysical make-ups have been irrecovably changed by this.

The last time was supposed to be the last time but i guess that's never true, is it? a lie to both of ourselves rather than each other. I'm tired, you're tired, but this is the last time.

it's hard to watch. it's harder to look away. I like to think i got out of the game but I'm still here, betting on losing horses with fresh saddle sores.

I guess it's addictive like that. the sunlight in the seconds between falling and hitting the bottom. The other lie we tell ourselves that maybe this time will really truly be the last time.

it never is and it never will be and the sun will always set and rise and set and rise and yet for some reason we think there's a chance it won't.

it's not failure, what we do. it's simply the Hill.

i look forward to seeing apollo again.

so i want a calendar for my room, specifically one of those tear away calendars. yknow, the big stack with a page for each day of the year? typically seen in cartoons/movies with time loop plots. Anyways, i've found something strange in my search for one: there's only like 3 different kinds.

those 3 kinds are:

1. >$50 at-a-glance brand

2. Chinese almanac calendars

3. japanese daily calendars

I didn't realize finding a generic cheapo calendar was going to be difficult. the chinese and japanese calendars are cool though!

i can't read them (because im a monolingual bastard), but apparently the chinese calendars have a bunch of luck related stuff on each page, like good and bad activities for each day, horoscope forecast, lucky/unlucky hours for each zodiac, and so on. as well as the date and month of course. it's pretty rad honestly.

The japanese calendars have some similar stuff in them, like lucky/unlucky days, but they also include a lot about japan's traditional calendar which is totally different from the gregorian calendar (ours). Some of them, like the one pictured, also have the moon phases which is neat.

Both the chinese and japanese calendars also use the ink colors for short hand. the exact color seems to vary between brands, but the tendency is for the weekdays to be printed in black, saturdays in blue, and sundays in red. occasionally mondays will have the date number printed in red, with everything else in black. isnt that cool!

in conclusion, im a little torn between getting a chinese or a japanese one. On one hand, the chinese calendars have a bunch of cool little extras that could be interesting to look up each day, and on the other, at one point i was trying to learn japanese and getting a calendar could be an interesting way to get back into it and learn.

thanks for reading, if you got this far. i am probably the only person in the world who cares about this lmao

For everyone confused as to why all the imgur links suddenly stopped working:

Imgur is currently purging their site of NSFW content and anonymously uploaded content. This means all the images are getting new URL addresses. Imgur is doing this because they want to be more family friendly in order to convert their image hosting site into a new social media platform. what a load of shit

i've tried to use the new links with their new HTML embbed code, but that doesnt seem to work either.

For my friends, I archive my blog posts on my neocities site. You can still see my art there, since it's hosted independently. I recommend you all do the same! Neocities is free and has 1gb of space, more if you're willing to pay for it.

(this blog is specific to spacehey)

It's hard to explain. obviously i cant totally hate the internet, im here right now arent i?

I also owe a lot of who i am and what i want to do to the internet. The career i want to pursue wouldn't really exist without it. there's so many things i've learned and people i've connected to through the internet.

But i hate it. I hate how it has irrevocably changed life forever. I hate how local communities dont really exist anymore, i hate the disappearance of physical media, i hate this permanence of contact. The entitlement everyone has for each other's immediate attention. especially how the workplace is now inescapable.

I hate how easy it is to lose all my time to digital space. it's like popcorn. i choose it over the other things I love to do because it's just so damn easy, so effortless. And it feels fake. It's not real. this digital space is fake. the moment i close this tab or shut my laptop it ceases to exist. I know you are reading this and you are real but i can't feel you, you can't feel me. no matter how hard we try. place your hand on the screen over mine and the only warmth you'll feel is the heat of your CPU.

I feel deprived of a life of boredom and quiet. It's so fucking loud all the time. even in flesh space it feels like I can't escape the endless chatter and screaming of the internet.

sometimes i like to imagine myself in some 80's night, as a kid in the back of a car looking out across the highway to city skyline. I look at all the dark and bright windows, and think about how those are all real people too. people with complex lives and wants and wishes. someone in that skyscraper is going to go home and feed their dog and put together a puzzle while they have jeopardy on in the background. Someone in that house in the suburbs is playing board games with their family at the dinner table. that person in the car next to me has a job interview tomorrow and can't wait to get home and call their mom to talk about it.

and above all that is not millions of people arguing or laughing or distributing. it's just silence. quiet. stars.

i dont know. i mourn the loss of a concrete reality. i mourn the fact we can never, ever go back.

I love the convenience of the internet, but i don't know how much longer i can do this.

I'm gonna make a system for how long i can do screen stuff a day. maybe that will help.

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